 |
We left America to come to Thailand. We prepared for that big move for years. Literally years. We had so much stuff it wasn't even funny. In many ways getting rid of stuff is so freeing. All the trappings tie you down. It was closing a chapter of our lives, embarking on a new journey.
I remember landing in Chiang Mai, and being overwhelmed by God's goodness. We had many people who never thought we'd get here. The economy was terrible, our support was too low, we'd never survive with out our family and support system. But God came through time and time again. HE did it, we were able to ride along with HIM.
The first year I spent a lot of time reflecting on a couple of things: what is home and who am I?
Before we left America I had this idea that we'd take a magnet around with us everywhere we went, even if it was just to a hotel, it was from one of those magnetic poem sets. It was the word: "home". And I figured, I'd just tell our kids that "home is wherever we are all together". I lost the magnet, stupid ADHD, but it was a nice thought, right?
My idea of "home" has changed even more. Being away from family was nearly unmanageable at times, but over the last year, Thailand became so comfortable and so normal to me. It became home. That's good in some ways, but it's also bad. Home should be wherever we are together with God. It's not a geographical location, and the bible talks about this world not being our home. If we are too comfortable here, we're not living in light of eternity. Everything within us fights to feel at home, whether that be with people or living a certain type of life style. But the spirit of God within us, would have us fight against that. We should be going out of our comfort zone, we should be giving more, loving more, and never settling in.
Selling all our stuff and moving again, in the other direction, is stressful, but also freeing. I'm reflecting a lot on how I can avoid the trap of being comfortable and seeking to fit in. The only opinion that matters is God's, not anyone else's. I'd say I'm a recovering people-pleaser, but that's not even true. I'm a people-pleaser every. single. day. I have to fight against that, but I'm not alone, I just need to cling to Christ and make decisions based on eternity, by walking in the spirit.
Right now it would be so tempting for me to leave this comfort zone and just build a new one. It might take a while, because frankly I'm not looking forward to re-adjusting to America. I could just set up another house, and settle in to life. But, I don't belong there, my time here has changed me, what God has revealed to me during this time can't be unseen.
What does home mean to you? What's the one thing, that if you lost it now, you're not sure if you'd be able to go on living? Our answer should be Jesus Christ, not that you can lose him, but if we're passionate about what we say we are and we love him the way we say we do, that should be home or safe place, our sense of security. I'm clinging to that right now. I read somewhere recently that we often get so busy doing the Lord's work that we forget the Lord of the work. I pray it would never be so, but I know too often it is.
Today I am thankful that he is faithful, even when we aren't. He is steady. He is good. His word teaches us about who he is, and our experiences have done nothing but fall in line with his word. There's no reason to doubt him now, he's still God, and he's still good.
(Okay, I realize I only addressed one of the two, so I'll have to get to the other one another time. Love you all!)
No comments:
Post a Comment