Today was quite the turn around. We got back home, then taught English class last night, came home, went to bed and then went right back to church this morning. Also, today was the baking class. Major, Epic, Horrendous fail, I'm not even really in the mood to make fun of myself about it. We tried to make brownies, we made two batches and I had the recipe wrong, fixed the recipe and made a new batch, but they still didn't cook correctly and I have no idea why.
I'm trying really hard to no cry or over dramatize. Trying to think of what I would say to my kids if they messed something up, "You can't just quit, keep trying!" "Just start over and try again!" "See the job through to the end, even if it's really hard" "Be willing to admit when you make mistakes and do your best to remedy the situation" And so on...but let's face it. Nothing I say is going to magically undo the hit my pride took today. But I'm okay with it. Thankful my "students" were very gracious about the whole thing. It just really stinks to question every day if what you are doing is enough, and then to feel like one of the few things you thought you could bring to the table...you're not even good at, well that's hard to swallow. But it's not about me, it never has been and it never will be. I will continue to be the village idiot from now until my dying day, but I refuse to give up. We'll try again next time with a new recipe, I'll try to learn from what mistakes I can even figure out from this time and I'll do my best to laugh through all my mishaps. Easier said than done, but after a good nights sleep, I'm sure I'll be in a better frame of mind to laugh through all of this. Just praying that God would somehow get the glory, even when my meager offering is a failed attempt. We even had a new lady come today, just for the class, I kept thinking...I hope she doesn't stop coming since I ruined it this time. Praying God will use my insufficiency to somehow draw her to himself, if anyone can...HE can!
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| Doug helping out! |
Oh pride I'm afraid I passed that trait onto you. Maybe the lesson was humble pie? Hang in there.
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