This week has been a little bizarre. Doug has the flu. I took the kids with me to three thrift stores looking for a Christmas tree stand. Finally found one, at the last place we looked. I also saw a robbery, but didn't realize it until after the fact. And had to give a statement, all while trying to keep my kids quiet and well behaved at the THIRD place we'd been to.
Finally go to check out, and forgot a couple of my items, had to wait in line and check out again. Then, decided to go back to the first thrift store because they had the best Christmas book selection. And that's when Kees had a melt down. About a FREE book! I tried to be understanding and patient, but it's a FREE book. He couldn't decide which one he wanted and kept trading them out. Then he was crying because there wasn't a book he wanted. I explained that he could pick one and say, "Thank you" or say "No, thanks." and walk away.
We somehow managed to pick a book and get out of there, but we left my dignity behind and any hopes that I'll be mother of the year. We had one more planned stop, Dollar Tree, for decorations. And I was not feeling up to it, but if I went home, we'd have an undecorated tree and I seriously wasn't sure how I'd work in another trip out, especially with Doug not feeling well.
I gave very specific instructions to my kids, and explained that we would walk out of the store as soon as any one fussed or disobeyed me.
And we survived, but I considered taking up drinking or binge eating when we got home. I did neither, but my sanity is slipping.
At lunch today, I was doing homeschool reading with Kees and Kora was asking me for something. My food got cold and I just felt exhausted with it all. I want to eat my food. I don't need long, 10 minutes, even 5.
And to top it off, I needed to go to the grocery store. I should have taken the kids with me because Doug is sick, but I just knew I'd lose it with them. I was still wavering about taking Kora or leaving her behind, while I was showering. Then Kora barged in, and insisted I sing "Jingle Bells", then sang her own version while I tried to convince her Doug was calling her name.
So I apologized to Doug, and got the heck out of dodge. I didn't even really want to go, but I also needed some moments of peace. After the first two stores, I splurged on a bean burrito at Taco Bell and grabbed a Dr. Pepper freeze for Doug. But I drank some, in the grocery store parking lot, while I scarfed my burrito in semi-peace. But it's hard to turn off the "rush, rush, rush!" I was eating super fast, and then I decided to slow down a bit, enjoy the heater on my feet, and savor those minutes. I felt so selfish, knowing Doug was home with the kids and not feeling well. But I also know, if I don't keep my calm and sanity, the whole family suffers. If Doug was having any issues, he'd text or call and he hadn't. I'm sure, if I'd checked with him, he would have said to take whatever time I needed, because the last thing he wants is "momma on a rampage".
And that's my true confession. I stole moments in my van, I stole some of my sick husbands icee. But I think the ends justified the means in this case. I came home a much happier camper, until I saw the outrageous mess Kora had made with her "mack a moni". And then I took a five minute, lay in the bed and cover up my head time out. Came out, kissed that crazy messy girl, and got back to business as usual, or as usual as we ever get.
Whew! Is it the weekend yet?
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