Wordy Wednesday: Encourage Someone, Start with Yourself

I was at a loss about what I was going to write about today.  And then two friends starting chatting with me online, and the combined conversations led to this...

This is mostly for the ladies, but MEN, listen up too, your wives need encouragement.

Let me just be honest. If you've read the blog for very long, you've figured out that I'm pretty open.  So here it is:

1. I overthink everything.
2. I have ridiculously high expectations for myself.
3. I'm (too) sensitive
4. No matter what I do, it's never enough (for me)
5. I care WAY WAY too much what other people think, because I want EVERYONE to be happy, and
I irrationally think that is my responsibility.

6. Sometimes the previous 5 things, result in a cranky, short tempered, complaining lady. (Not saying that makes is okay, but if you want the cranky and complaining to go away, keep those things in mind, talking to myself and those unfortunate enough to be around me at those times.)

Now, let's look back over the list, not one of those things helps keep me focused on God. Not one.  It's a lot of self focus, needless worry, focusing on others in a somewhat negative way.  The focusing on others is about meeting ALL their needs, whether they are known or unknown, um, I can't do that. So trying and failing repeatedly is pretty futile.  And, yet, I keep doing it.

I'm always wanting to spend more time with my family, but for some reason, I have this idea, that it needs to be well organized, in a super clean house, and perfect timed.  Life just isn't neat, like that. It's messy.  Just realize this, sometimes life feels out of control, and it is out of YOUR control, but it's not out of God's control.  I can't tell you the number of times, I'm wanting desperately to get everything "right" and I miss it, by a mile.  Because what is "right" in my mind is not at all the truth.

Here's an example:

Last Friday, I knew Doug and I were going to be going different ways in the evening, and not eating dinner together.  So I had him come home for lunch.  TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM.  But he came home before I was expecting and his lunch wasn't ready, the house wasn't tidy, and the kids were needing stuff, like their lunch.  Do you think Doug noticed or cared about any of those things?  Likely, no.  But in my mind, I was a bad wife, a bad housekeeper and a bad mom.  I was on the verge of tears because nothings was "right".  Here's a secret ladies, your husband would rather find you rolling around in a pile of dirty laundry, laughing with your kids, than frantically cleaning the house. Your family would rather eat a bowl of cereal for dinner with a cheerful mom, than eat a gourmet meal while you cry in the bathroom cause it's just too much.  Take the time to meet actual needs, and know that your disposition is setting the tone.  A box of macaroni or leftovers will fill their bellies for now, but your laughter, that extra measure of compassion about a DANG smashed berry (more on that later), your cheers for the 100th imaginary football game this week.  Those will last a life time.

So what do I say?  Don't ruin your time with your loved ones, because you aren't enough for YOU.  Guess what, you may not feel like enough, but likely it's all in your head.  And if you aren't enough for the people around you, you're always enough for God.  And maybe the reason you're perceived as not being good enough to those around you is because they are struggling with their own feelings of inadequacy.

Start with you, pray that God will calm your spirit and help you realize your worth is secure and it's found in HIM.  Second, pay it forward.  Encourage those around you, cheer them on, let them know just how much they are, how HUGE they are in your life, then repeat it, again, and again, again.  They might not believe you right away.

YOU my friends, are more than enough.  You are priceless. You are loved.