Manic Monday: Time Away

We homeschool.  So it's important to me that my kids have time away from us.  That has been quite a challenge in the past.  Between Kees's anxiety and a lack of willing babysitters, we've gone long spells without time apart.  Seems like when we had people offering, Kees just couldn't handle it.  One time in particular, we left, and he scream/cried in the corner of a room for ten minutes, then took himself to bed.

Since we've lived in Idaho, our kids have, particularly Kees have come a LONG way. I think Kees is feeling more settled and confident these days.  Last week, on our anniversary, we were hosting guests and decided to wait to go on a date.  Then we took turns being sick.  Sunday, one of my new friends asked if she could babysit for us on Monday because she was off work.  I didn't say yes right away, I said, "Let me check and see how Kees feels about that."  I know some of you are probably thinking, "He's a kid, just do it, he doesn't get a say!"  And in most cases, I'd agree, but considering his life experiences, I don't barrel through these types of decisions, because there are extenuating circumstances. The last thing I want to do, after building his trust, and coming as far as we have, is to force something, and takes steps back.  Kees doesn't know my friend, at all, he's seen her in passing at church, but never spent any time with her.  I completely trust her, but I wanted to make sure he felt comfortable.  I turned right to him and asked, "Would it be okay if Megan came to watch you and Kora at our house while Daddy and I go on a date?"  He said, "Yeah."  And it truly sounded like "no big deal".   I was surprised, and pleased.  I had figured if it was overwhelming, we'd just wait till Sandy could watch them or Lavonne, those are the two friends of mine that he knows really well.  

And update, they had a BLAST!  I talked to Kees about Megan coming, and how he might need to help her find things, or help her understand Kora.  It's nice to be in a new phase, where leaving isn't that big of a deal.  It hasn't always been easy, and I know at times I though it would NEVER get better.  Looking back, I'm glad I didn't push it.  I'm also glad, God put people in my life, who were sensitive to my concerns and willing to take on a challenge.

So this is my reminder, for all the caretakers out there, take a break with your spouse, or on your own, whatever applies.  You'll be better at what you do, if you get breaks.  It's hard, I get that, but it's also necessary.  Baby steps if necessary.  And if you notice a friend is over-doing it, step in and offer a hand.  They might desperately needing it, but scared to ask,  or too proud.