Wordy Wednesday: 10 Years of Marriage

Today is our 10th anniversary!

2004-2014, so far, so good!

I'd like to say I've learned a ton of stuff, and I'm an old pro.  But, I'll be honest, I learn something new every day. And I make mistakes far more often than I'd like to admit.  So, here's my words of wisdom for MYSELF because I unequivocally do NOT have it all figured out.

Here's a good old top ten list (in no particular order), and having Doug do the same, so we'll see if any of our things line up!

Kellee's Top Ten (make that 11):

11. If you want a top ten list from Doug, ask for 20 things.

10. Men solve problems.  Don't complain, expecting them to empathize.  And if you don't want a solution, make that very clear BEFORE you start "venting" or "webbing".  Even if you make it clear you don't want a solution, that doesn't mean he won't still try.

9. Doug hears approximately 1/10th of what I say.  So if it's important, write it down, and keep it simple.  The more explanation, the less men hear.

8. The best gift you can give to your spouse is not a clean house, or all your ducks in a row. The best gift you can give, is a positive outlook, and a great sense of humor.  I get this wrong, DAILY, but honestly, Doug would much rather live in a pig sty with a happy wife, than live in an emaculate mansion with a moody wife.

7. Parenting changes things, but don't let it define your marriage.  Yes, we're parents, but we were a couple long before we had kids, and that needs to remain a priority.

6. A little gift, a thank you, or a funny text go a long way to let your spouse know you're thinking of them.

5. Go out of your way to notice and acknowledge the effort and thought your spouse is putting in. Too many times, when things aren't going our way, we start making a laundry list of downfalls, when in reality your spouse has done more than you've given them credit for and is likely willing to help, if they know WHAT you need and HOW they can best help you.

4. ^^^ So, communicate, and communicate some more. The break down of communication is the root of nearly all of our fights. That and unmet expectations, that were likely not communicated very well in the first place.

3. Talk less (KELLEE) and listen more!

2. Be silly and laugh.

1. Pray for each other, and encourage each other.

Doug's Top Ten (make that 5, plus a Napoleon Dynamite quote):

 1. I haven't scratched the surface 

2. Her thoughts will forever be beyond your grasp 

3. Men, state your good intentions, and then state them again 

4. Hobbies are much better tolerated than lying on the couch watching shows

5. Even if what you say or do may initially be received negatively, do it anyway, if it's for the best, she'll come around

Can I add that when you get into an argument, go for a walk, the exercise and fresh air will be good for your health, and then there won't be anything to argue about after. (Napoleon Dynamite)

Dating:

We started dating in November 2003.  Possibly the 11th, but I can't remember for sure.  Doug took me to McDonald's to "talk" after he'd grabbed my hand during a scary movie we were watching with a group of people at his apartment on a Sunday night.  I thought he was going to "let me down easy". He took forever to finally get to the point, and asked, "So, do you think this thing between us could go somewhere?"  I responded, "I wouldn't be here if I didn't" and then marched right out.  Not sure why he didn't run the other direction.

Engaged:

We got engaged on Easter weekend 2004. We were both in an Easter production at my home church.  He put the ring in an Easter egg, but I had to do my egg hunt over at the church because the weather was bad.  The BIG blue egg (my favorite color) had the ring inside.  He got down on one knee.  I don't remember what he said, or what I said, but it was some form of "yes".  My diamond engagement ring was one his mom had found at a party many years earlier and no one ever claimed. Doug had the diamond reset for me.  I had no idea he had a ring!  When he picked his wedding band, I loved it, and picked one to match.  We never take them off, and we had them inscribed.  The inscription was a secret till the big day.

Wedding:

We got married on October 8, 2004.  It was a Friday night.  We'd been dating approximately 11 months.  We planned the wedding the month after my sister got back from 2 years in Bolivia.  Doug wrote me a poem and had it etched into a glass block thingy.  I gave him a bible with his name engraved on the front.

We had  4 each in our wedding parties.  All our siblings were included, a cousin, and some friends (that are more like family!)!  We only had one niece and nephew at that point, and they were our ring bearer and flower girl (Alex and Madeline).  Our colors were red and silver, it was a sunny day.  The wedding only lasted 7 minutes and I think 4 minutes of that was my Papaw's prayer.  There were people who showed up late and missed the ENTIRE thing.  Doug cried, and I acted like a moron so I wouldn't cry. If I could do it again, I'd have just cried too.  I embarrass easily and was just wanting to hurry up and be married already!  We had the reception at the community center in Henryetta, so we could dance.  And I even convinced my dad to dance with me!  We danced to "Tough Little Boys" by Gary Allen (here).  Then, Doug and I danced to "At Last" (here). We also included, for my mom, "I Can't Help Falling in Love with You", ELVIS of course! (here).  I remember my parents dancing to that one, and my Aunt Valeri and Uncle Mike dancing.  It's a special memory because Aunt Valeri and Uncle Mike had helped set everything up, and I had so many people tell me how helpful they were.  They are one of my favorite couples of all time!

We ate pizza from Mazzios, my family always had pizza on Friday nights.  We sang karaoke, danced to "Where is the Love" ( here).  All the girl cousins from my mom's side of the family, sang together, "Young Love", one we had sang many times together growing up ( here). It was OU/Texas week, so I had Friday and Monday off of school (at OU).  We had to get married on Friday, so it wouldn't interfere with our family watching the game.  My dad got us a limo, that drove us to Tulsa. We stayed  one night in Tulsa, then flew to the Poconos the next day.  We saw gorgeous leaves changing colors, ate delicious food, had our own indoor heated pool,  a sauna, and a jacuzzi.  I think the bed was heart shaped! :)

Shevaun and Tim (Doug's sister and her husband), they're awesome!

Cutting the cake

We were nice.

A very good family friend, Joy, made our cake as a gift to us.  It was beautiful!  And so delicious, strawberry filling.  

We had Red Fusion punch.  Doug, his brother Stephen, and I played around making small batches. It was basically Red Fusion soda, a Dr. Pepper product that has now been discontinued, vanilla ice cream, and maraschino cherry juice.  So sad that we can't ever have this again....

Married life:

When we were newly married, we lived in Norman, while I finished school. I graduated in December, then did my internship, the following semester.  That summer, we moved to Wisconsin.  We lived on campus at the bible school. Doug helped out in the dean's department and I taught second grade at a bilingual hispanic charter school in Milwaukee.  It was a 30 minute commute for me and a CRAZY year.  The next school year, I took bible classes, and taught in an after school program, also in Milwaukee.  We went home, to Oklahoma those summers, then moved to Missouri for a year and a half to take missionary training.  (Should have mentioned this sooner, but we ALWAYS planned to go to Thailand)  While at the missionary training center, we got pregnant, and lost our first baby due to miscarriage.  A few months after that loss, I got pregnant with Kees.  We moved back to Oklahoma after missionary training, and had Kees in May. We were living in Moore at the time.  When Kees was 10 months old, we moved out of our place and started living with family.  The next 8 months we travelled, spoke at churches, and got ready to go to Thailand.

November 2010, on my dad's birthday, we flew to Thailand, and began that chapter of our lives.  We experienced an earthquake, our house flooding, emergency surgery when I was pregnant with Kora, a ton of crazy lizards stalking me, and had all sorts of fun and crazy adventures!  We came home for 4 months to have Kora and headed back when she was 8 weeks old.  Just a year and half later, in July of 2013, we felt God calling us away from Thailand.  We weren't sure where he would lead us next.  In October of 2013, just before our 9th anniversary, we were accepted as members of GoodSeed and began planning our future in Idaho, of all places. And here we are!

June 2013

July 2013, getting ready to head back to America

August 2013 in Webbers Falls.

On our way to Canada, to meet with GoodSeed August 2013

Back through Canada, to visit with GoodSeed and get a tour in Idaho.

Back in Oklahoma, our first box of goodies from GoodSeed.

Halloween 2013

At the Capitol, on our LONG road trip, November 2013

In Ohio, same road trip, visiting my friend Kari.

I thought Thailand was the 10 year plan for us, I thought that's where we'd be on our 10th anniversary, but God knew we'd be here, in Idaho, surrounded by amazing friends that I gladly call "family"!  God has continued to bless us far more than we could think or imagine and infinitely more than we deserve.

April 2014

Hiking Tubbs Hill

Boat tour

4th of July

4th of July

Free slurpees at 7-11

Branson July 2014

Farm July 2014

Flying back home to Idaho!

Softball game for church

Heading to GoodSeed camp August 2014,  saw a 3-D movie on the way

Roasting mallows, GS camp 2014

FOOTBALL season 2014

Fall leaves in Idaho!

Walking back from the grocery store, carrying bread for Momma

Happy Anniversary Douglas Aron!  You are the one God had for me, and me for you.  So thankful to be walking through this life with you, you're the best, best, best!  Love you!